Humor

The Pheromones & Groans series details the sexual exploits and erotic adventures of two groups of friends – four 20-something lads with a passion for anything that moves, and four 40-something ladies with a lust for a bit of youth between their anywhere-at-all’s. Though it all seems straightforward enough (amazing, hassle-free sex in every position ever invented), things can always go awry, especially when casual flings become embedded in webs of emotions spun by human beings who, at the end of the day, realise they also need love as much as the lust. PENETRATE is a fictional guide about how get into such a breath-taking relationship, THRUST shows how to enjoy it even more, and WITHDRAW highlights how to get out with emotions intact.

In part one, our hero, Miles Diamond, narrowly averts financial catastrophe when he is hired by David Travis to find his missing twin brother. Unfortunately, Miles’ new case almost immediately throws him into a dangerous world of sex trafficking, drugs and international terrorism where he is soon in as much danger as the man he is trying to find. As part one ended, Miles found himself in the delectable, but dangerous, clutches of criminal mastermind Nelson Chin and his henchman, Jackson. We left Miles in a pit below the high tide mark, with water rising fast. Will he be rescued before the water rises above his head permanently? Will he be able to stop having hot sex long enough to find the missing twin? Will his best buddy, Rudy Vale, be able to resist the temptation of throttling him? To find the answer to some if not all of these questions, read on.

Brandi Whyne 7 – Brandi takes on the woman who broke her lover’s heart in the only way she knows how—by seducing Marian’s second-in-command, of course. What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill, Futurama and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex! In Chapter 7, Brandi’s Best Revenge, the crew of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip encounter their time bandit contact in their own dimension—Robin’s ex-girlfriend, Marian Maidenform. But all is not quite as it seems aboard Marian’s ship, and seducing the hunky android Andrew becomes part of Brandi’s revenge against the cold yet sexy woman who broke Robin’s heart. But what does K.R.A.P.P. have to do with the balance of power on Old Terra? Brandi and her pals are determined to find out.  

His lust is eternal. When author Rose Garland summons the Muse from Mount Olympus to inspire her in writing an erotic historical romance, she expects to see a sweet lady in a flowing gown appear. Instead, she finds herself facing a sleazy but sexy hustler who compels her to write BDSM, menage a trois and Master-slave fiction instead, thus fulfilling her own wildest fantasies. Things get even wilder when Mr. Muse forces her to act out his scenes with him and his handsome apprentice, who boasts a very broad chest covered with equally vulgar t-shirts. But when a wealthy publisher offers to print her sweet historical romance instead…and the nice Muse of History pops up at a city council meeting in order to help her…while her sister Muse of Comedy won’t stop laughing at her own awful jokes…then what’s a girl to do, especially when she realizes that she enjoys it all?  

A shape-shifting Santa serves up a hot holiday surprise for two wanna-be winners. Angie’s out to win her dream-mobile in a contest for the Ultimate Holiday Spirit. But Jack has his eye on the sleek blue Porsche, too. Who will win the contest? Who will the mysterious Santa…unlike any other Santa…help win the prize? Or will Angie and Jack find a better prize?  

Clueless detective Miles Diamond scours the globe, leaving no man undone, in his quest to solve the case of the missing twin. Our hero, Miles Diamond, narrowly averts financial catastrophe when he is hired by David Travis to find his missing twin brother. Unfortunately, Miles’ new case almost immediately throws him into a dangerous world of sex trafficking, drugs and international terrorism where he is soon in as much danger as the man he is trying to find. So far, Miles has survived an attempt to drown him, a bomb aboard an airplane, a pitched gun battle, a fall from the roof of Notre Dame Cathedral and enough hot sex to bring an ordinary man to his knees. Part 5: Miles and his pals arrive in Morocco and are immediately sidetracked by a sinister drug smuggler who whisks them up into the remote Atlas Mountains. After several tense days, the crew make their escape. They arrive in the fabled city of Marrakech where the action and danger intensifies as they draw closer to the elusive twin. The action reaches fever pitch in a derelict hotel where Miles makes one last heroic effort to save himself, his friends—and the money.  

The country gives you more than fresh air. When the townsfolk of Passmore get wind of the fact their Vicar’s new verger, Wilson Rooney, is gay, a series of events spark the start of both his and the vicar’s adventures when it comes to keeping the rather interesting flock of Passmore within the fold. Not only that, they’ll have to gain the approval of the parish council before Wilson can be accepted. No small task when it’s headed by one of the most conservative parish council leaders ever to have walked the face of God’s green earth. Can the vicar get Wilson accepted into the community? Or will his efforts result in a disaster that will divide the town they have been trying to keep together since the decline in population has hit them hard. Time will tell, but not before love blooms in the most unexpected way and the vicar uses some rather unorthodox methods to get his parishioners to see the light about Wilson and his lifestyle choice.

Just when you thought it was safe to watch a Sunday morning TV shout show… Now that the Dueling Duo are married, things are settling down on their Sunday morning TV shout show…to the producer’s great dismay. So he brings in two new co-hosts, resulting in a Feuding Foursome. But when four TV porn stars decide to use their own X-rated, on-demand program in order to impersonate the foursome, things start getting really wild in this silly but sexy sequel to Dueling Duo. And can things get any wilder, when a foreign prince with a strong spanking hand decides to get in on the act?

When a powerful vampire leader hands out penalties, it is terrifying, like thunder and lightning, and even the demons and spirits cannot undo his work: Eliade.   Life sucked more than Tony thought possible. When Vampire Dragomir Eliade sucks out his mortal life, he finally fights back and wins in his own way. No longer bound by the awful curse of being a street fruit vendor, handsome Tony sets his sights on the goal of starting his own detective agency. He and his worshipful sidekick, Eliade, take a bite out of crime. When a fearful father seeks help from the duo, Tony realizes that he is up against harsh odds. A statue looted from an Iraqi museum turns out to be an image possessed by the Evil Spirit, Iblis himself. The man, an antiques broker, knew that he was purchasing a stolen item. What he doesn’t know is that a Satanist cult wants the statue for its own, and to get it, its members have brainwashed his daughter and won her over to the side of evil. Will Tony have the power it takes to go up against the Evil Spirit, or will he and Eliade become the unwilling servants of the newly risen monster?

The Country gives you more than fresh air, even at Christmas.   The romantic and comedic adventures of Wilson and his dishy doctor boyfriend, Edmund, continue. This time, Christmas is fast approaching so not only does the seasonal calendar need to be organized and presents bought, but with the help of the vicar and all the Parish Council, the main Christmas event has to be planned—the unveiling of the new town statue. Oh my. Sure, the town may have got over the fact Wilson and the doctor are a couple, but if everything goes right—and it never will—they may not forget this Christmas. Let’s just say, everything possible will be done to stop this Christmas from making the Sydney Gay Mardi Gras look like Mother Teresa’s picnic for good girls. Even so, Christmas this year will certainly be different in Passmore. Can Wilson and Edmund survive the festive season? Can the town? And what surprise does Edmund have in store for Wilson that will turn his world upside down?

When checking out your best friend inherited castle in Scotland leads to the castle’s resident ghost asking you to check out the uncharted territory beneath the pleats of his kilt—well, what is the polite response?   Frank cancels a trip to the beach to help his buddy Randy check out the Scottish castle he has unexpectedly inherited. The castle is a wreck, Randy is a mess and Frank is furious—until he encounters the real Laird of the Manor and indulges in a ghostly highland fling.