Humor

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill, Futurama, and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex! In Chapter Three: Bound for Adventure! Brandi goes undercover but is soon found out by sexy smuggler Daro. She bravely faces death by oversized dildo—until Robin and the gang save the day. After Dr. Kwak’s “rat poison” interrogation, it appears Daro is working for dreaded inter-dimensional bandits. What can they do? Why, Robin takes charge of the situation by announcing its time for a ship wide orgy, of course!

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill, Futurama, and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne and Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures (with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates). With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex! Brandi and the crew go searching for a crack in the time-space continuum. Along the way they experience some rather wild side effects of inter-dimensional travel—including Brandi’s disembodied ass begging to be rogered. Robin is more than happy to oblige as the gravity units go off line, and as an oddly familiar time bandit plans to take Brandi hostage…

Sexy widower Dusty Lucas needs a wife to help raise his two motherless children, and sultry Mandy McKenzie needs help clearing her father’s good name. Can they strike a deal that will solve both their problems, or will this marriage of convenience be anything but convenient?

George Sullivan's life is a disaster in progress. His last few books haven't sold well, he drinks too much, he sleeps around, he's in hock for a gambling debt he can't repay and he'd probably trade his last friend for a best seller. His love life isn't faring much better, due to a bad breakup that still haunts him. When his agent arranges for him to write the memoir of notorious mob boss Vito Pasquale, it's the opportunity of a lifetime and a chance to make all his dreams come true. What George doesn't count on is falling for the Don's beautiful but spoiled daughter, Cookie. It's lust at first sight for both of them, but George resists her blatant come-ons and seduction attempts because he fears how her father might react. When Cookie begins a relentless campaign to snare him it's only a matter of time before George caves in, but what if things don't work out between them? Will he end up in the middle of Lake Erie wearing a cement overcoat for dallying with the Don's daughter? Will Vito insist on a shotgun wedding to preserve Cookie's honor? Worse yet, when George finally achieves the success he's always wanted, will it be a hollow victory if Cookie isn't there to share it with him?

Twelve years on, widowed Vivica still mourns Dylan. Her unwillingness to commit to a relationship frustrates boss and regular sex partner Jack McEvoy, who betrays her by spreading gossip around their rural community. Quitting her job, Vivica finds a supportive friend in her wealthy widower neighbour, Talbot Tasman, who harbours secret love for her. When Vivica’s beautiful daughter, Lizette, rebuffs her boyfriend’s constant pressure to go ‘all the way’ with sex before they marry, Jarratt sees no wrong in bedding other young women. Discovering one of them is pregnant, Lizette dumps Jarratt. Returning from an overseas education, Talbot’s handsome son Taylor helps Lizette pick up her heart’s shattered pieces...

Refined, restrained and always reasonable, Cassandra Bailey can make polygamy sound boring when she talks about it on her TV show. Buck Patrick, on the other hand, is a radio rabble-rouser who rants and raves against everyone on every side of every possible issue. When he is hired to jazz up her ratings, their heated debates will soon be followed by even hotter sex in their dressing rooms. And, of course, no one will know about their secret love affair--except for everyone who watches them on the air.

A compilation of short stories that take the reader on a journey of fantasy sex in the naughties. Tracey, a housewife, charges a stranger for sex. Phillip, the conference speaker, keeps things professional. Peter verbally seduces a stranger in a cafe. Paul enjoys sex in foreign parts with his tutor. Nick finds himself enjoying a crowded train. Vanessa, the young mum, earns a little extra cash from operating a chat line. James, the estate agent, enjoys an extra special viewing with one client. Raine, the night club owner, has regular sexual experiences with an employee. Nineteen year old Becky, builds her sexual C.V. having sex in public. Natalie lives to the fullest.

That batty bunch you first met in “I’m Undead and I Vote” is back...both sillier and sexier than ever. This time, Count Dracula himself is on the prowl…determined to finish the holiday fun and put the Hell back in Halloween. But first, he must face a two feuding TV talk show hosts…his nagging mother…and, oh yes, his growing passion for a history teacher who knows his sad true story. Along the way, he’ll find lots of the other crazy creatures you have met in this best-selling series. They include the first undead activist…her friend the fierce were-Maltese…and the country’s be-witching First Lady.

“Ravished by Ragnar”—“Enslaved by Eric”—Karl Gustavsen is tired of seeing erotic romance writers turn his ancestors into these steamy sex fantasies. So he starts the Viking Anti-Defamation League to sue the author, Rose Jacobson, along with her publisher, Orgazm Books. But his favorite Viking relic might prove that everything she says is true. Every time he touches it, she is pretty sure to wind up getting—well—carried away.

The dedication says it all…For those who wanted to know, but were afraid to ask. Or didn’t know where to go to ask… Here’s the perfect Girl’s Guide to Threesomes.

Gabrielle, the younger sister of Athena, is sick of always living in her sister's shadow. Born from a human mother, Gabrielle not only has sporadic powers, but she always seems to make a mess of things. Dismayed that she hasn't ended up in the history and storybooks like big sis, Gabrielle sets out to make herself known. She travels to different places in time, trying to set up couples and make them find their HEA. Whether they want it or not. Of course, things never go the way she plans. Off on her adventures, Gabrielle drags her lovers along. Adam, son of the goddess Nyx, and Mnemosyne's son, Carter. How bad can it get, you ask? Well, the Chicago Fire wasn't started by a cow. You have three guesses, but the first two don't count as her two companions are innocent.

She knew she should hate him. But once the great warrior Achilles takes his beautiful captive Briseis in his magnificent arms, she lives only for his embraces. Soon, though, his jealous commander will tear them apart, forcing to serve his own lust. War will cost her the man she loves, but peace will bring new perils when she earns the murderous jealousy of Helen of Troy. And at last, Briseis will stand alone to fight for her life against the deadliest foe of all—the cruel and cunning Odysseus—before he sends her on her own desperate journey, to find her beloved captor again. Too hot for the screen to hold, this story goes on where Hollywood leaves off—to the passionate reunion of this unforgettable pair.

WARNING: This story contains handcuffs, whips, a studded collar and some Christmas magic Sheila Simmons, a new witch, decides to take a night off from studying for her magic final exams and talking with her mother about her lack of a husband. Instead, she attends a friend's holiday masquerade party. Her costume: a dominatrix female Santa Claus named Mistress Sheila. Once at the party, Sheila discovers just how popular her costume is. In fact, four small men dressed as elves take every opportunity to chat her up. She uses her magic to change the four diminutive men into four handsome, sexy hunks and takes her pretend role as dominatrix to heart. But the men surprise her when they add a little magic of their own.

What do you get when Star Wars meets Sherwood Forest? Mix in a little Pirates of the Caribbean, Fanny Hill and The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and you get Brandi Whyne… And Her Incredibly Erotic Adventures with Robin Manhood and His Totally Sexed-Out Space Pirates. With a series title that long, you know it’s going to be filled with loads of laughs, tons of sci-fi fun and plenty of hot sex! In Chapter Six, Kidnapped by Time Bandits, Brandi is sucked into an alternate dimension and forced to do a little sucking on some not-so-nice space pirates—including Robin Limpdick, the evil twin of her own lover, Robin Manhood. After a good licking, she meets Captain Jacques Swallows and his right hand man, Francois, who put her to the test. Can Brandi convince the time bandits that the crew of the Pulsating Purple Parsnip can do more than just throw a great orgy?

Atalanta (fastest woman east or west of the Rockies) is the upstairs neighbor of the long-suffering Mel. Atalanta wants a casual relationship and someone to water her orchid when she’s training. Mel wants Atalanta, preferably naked and horizontal. Mel’s efforts in this direction involve some very virtual reality. Through Mel’s machinations, Atalanta finds herself in a training camp in ancient Greece, where she is must marry the athlete who can beat her in a race. The lusty lads are all super-speedy, so Atalanta sets about her own Elysian Games. She’s sure she can prevail if only she can discover each man’s sexual Achilles heel. While Atalanta engages with Greeks, Mel is beavering in the background to make his dreams of unlimited amorous games come true.

Harriet Barnstormer pilots the 'Cornish Pisky', the only original strat-ship left on the deep-space run. Like any other member of the Skyjockey guild, Harriet is bound over to keep herself in top physical and sexual condition. To this end, she has relied on her antique purse-pecker, but this has now been taken off the market. Three quasi-human Hiram Heman Seductors have failed miserably to satisfy her needs, and Harriet takes out her frustration by writing rude letters to the Heman company rep, who promises her an upgraded model. When a man dressed in spacers' greens appears outside the "Pisky" just before launch, Harriet has no choice but to let him die in the blastoff or allow him on board... But, IS Xander Heman a man? Or is he the promised upgrade from Heman Inc.? If so, is he likely to call her a rose of mauveness and stick his head in her boot or suggest she's a fackable starfish?

What links an archeological dig in the Valley of the Kings with a series of strange thefts of ancient Egyptian artifacts around the British Museum? What can rip solid wooden doors from their hinges, and survive being shot at point blank range? What ancient forces will the notorious adventuress Lady Jane Roseblood have to face as she investigates the matter? Can she solve the riddle? Can she survive the ancient Egyptian curse? Can she get enough sex along the way? A dark comic novel of sex, undead mummies, sex, ancient curses, sex, and Lady Jane Roseblood, Victorian England’s most notorious adventuress. And sex.

Warning: This books was previously published at eXtasy under the title The Crystal River. It has been re-edited and revised extensively. As caretaker of the cavernous old country estate, Dan Mathis feared he might be lonely...but instead he finds himself embroiled in a ghostly mystery, sex slaver intrigue—and a horny young man’s most feverish fantasy fulfilled! Discovering a time portal, Dan hurtles back in time to the estate in the Victorian era, when it was a private boarding school for young women. Here he becomes voyeur, phantom, adventurer, seducer, despoiler of the young women’s virtues...and their savior from a hellish fate.

Take one hot, sexy dragon and a strong-minded Warder, and you have a story that breaths passion… In the magical land of Realm, where dragons and Djinns take human form, Anryn is being hunted by a demon…a demon bent on her destruction. Decklyn, a dragon who can take human form, is slated to protect her. Things quickly heat up between Anryn and the hot, devastatingly attractive Decklyn… and not only in the bedroom. Against Decklyn’s counsel, Anryn is determined to fight the demon on her own terms, possibly putting her life in danger in the process. Decklyn, unable to talk her out of it, must go along with her plan, and confront the demon in order to save his mate. The forces of sizzling sex, scorching love, and a formidable foe entwine to make The Warder’s Dragon one HOT love story.

Timmon has been sent by the Warder’s to find their missing cousin. After a few weeks of watching this extraordinary woman, he decides that she is the one for him. The problem is that he has been watching her in a non-human form. Now he needs to get onto her radar. That can mean only one thing. Moving in next door. You have never seen a house-warming this hot.